Welcome all Discerners
As a general principle: ALL CONGREGATIONS ARE GOOD. GOD would not allow any community to last if it does not fit into His plan. What is important is to discern whether the congregation's lifestyle, charism and mission all FIT into the discerner's desire and dreams.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tips for the Discerner
Choosing the right congregation should not be the primary consideration of any young person who is thinking of becoming a religious priest, brother or sister.
The starting point is always the Word of God because the call uses the language of the One who Calls, not the language of the called.
In other words, immerse yourself in the word of God, in the study of the scriptures, in the homilies of the priests.
Maybe a good analogy is that of an author or a writer. Say you read Bo Sanchez, Jessica Zafra and Ricky Lo regularly. After some time, you are so immersed in their style of writing and in their distinct vocabulary that you don't need to look at the byline. You know the Writer because you are very familiar with the writing. You can distinguish one from the other. Such as, when the article is full of angst and irony, then must be Jessica. If it talks of showbiz gossip and latest scandal, you wont attribute it to Bo, because you are familiar with B's thoughts. Must be Ricky Lo.
The same way with listening to the promptings of the spirit. You can only affirm the voice and the message if you have listened enough to the point that your heart tells you that this is is! This is God's voice talking to me.
Try reading some excellent blogs like Faithofacenturion by Fr. JBoy Gonzales, usccb, the goodnews.
Monday, October 13, 2008
DAUGHTERS OF CHARITY OF ST. VINCENT DE PAUL
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Formal Name: DAUGHTERS OF CHARITY OF ST. VINCENT DE PAUL Commonly Called As: The DC sisters, the Daughters, Daughters of Charity Classification: Society of Apostolic Life
Habit: simple blouse and skirt in shades of blue with a very ordinary veil (see sample below)
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Vision/Charism:
Claim to History: One of earliest religious communities in the country and very instrumental during the Philippine Revolution. Their shelters and orphanages were the refuges of the poor then and now.
Five Reasons Why You Might Be Attracted:
a. It's status as society of apostolic life is unique. Members do not have perpetual vows, they have annual vows.
Reasons Why You Might Be Discouraged:
Best For:
Contacts:
Friday, October 10, 2008
Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary
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Commonly Called As: ICM Sisters
Classification: Apostolic, missionary congregation
Habit: Optional
Foundational Data: Mother Marie Louise De Meester founded the Religious - Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (ICM) in Mulagumoodu, India in 1897. Born on April 8, 1857 in Roeselare, a coastal town in Belgium, Maria grew up to be a talented young lady with a love for the missions. At age 22, she joined the Canonesses of St. Augustine in leper, Belgium, where she received the religious name, Dame Marie Louise.
Vision/Charism/Mission Statement:
Our preferential option is for the poor. We are ready to go to peoples of other nationalities, races, cultures, religions, ideologies to be witnesses to the unity to which humankind is called in Jesus Christ and so to participate in the local Church’s mission.
Claim to History: St. Theresa's College formed some of best women leaders in the country
Five Reasons Why You Might Be Attracted:
Reasons Why You Might Be Discouraged:
a. community life is very erratic, relationships of the sisters are not as intimate compared with other congregations
Contacts
Tabuk: Sr. Lita Perez,icmCP#: 09198905213 Email: promotabuk@icmphilippines.org
La Union:Sr. Jelli Cruz,icmCP#: 09198531718Email: promolaunion@icmphilippines.org
Baguio:Sr. Cora Sastre,icmCP#: 09213044262Email: promobaguio@icmphilippines.org
Banawe:Sr. Anita Inyat,icmSr. Marie-Jeanne Pardou, icm CP#: 09184008422Email: promobanawe@icmphilippines.org
Visayas
Carrascal: Sr. Gina Berin, icm CP#: 09182587246Email: promocarrascal@icmphilippines.org
website: http://www.icmphilippines.org/
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Servants of the Blessed Sacrament
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Formal Name: Servants of the Blessed Sacrament
Commonly Called As: Blessed Sacrament Sisters, or SSS
Classification: Contemplative
Monicker: Servants of the Blessed Sacrament Fathers ( as they used to serve the SSS priests)
Habit: see picture above
Foundational Data: Founded in France in 1858 by St. Peter Julian Eymard, the Apostle of the Eucharist, with the collaboration of Mother Marguerite Guillot, first Superior General. It was approved by Pope Pius IX in 1871..
Vision/Charism' "We live by the Eucharist and for the Eucharist. Our prayer is centered on the Blessed Sacrament continuously exposed in our public Chapels. We make each of our houses a Eucharistic Center, Where many people can share in our life of prayer and find helps for their spiritual development and Eucharistic formation."
Claim to History: Pioneered in the Promotion of the Adoration of the Eucharist
Five Reasons Why You Might Be Attracted:
a. contemplative life in a non-cloistered environment, this is very attractive to the young generation
b. well-defined formation program with professional, well-trained formators
c. community life is simple
d. The Eucharist, that should be attraction enough
e. slowly but surely growing its way into the Philippine church
Reasons Why You Might Be Discouraged:
a. well, because it is a contemplative community, there is not much pastoral involvement which might discourage those who seek dynamic ministries
b. limited areas - they are in Metro Manila and Davao
c. very low-key
Best For: those called to a life of contemplation and those who love the Eucharist
Contacts
Servants of the Blessed Sacrament
Zabarte Subd. Novaliches, Q.C.
Tel. 939-5523
Cellphone: 0919-846-3415
e-mail: servants_voc@yahoo.com
Servants of the Blessed Sacrament
Jacinto Extension, 8000 Davao City
Tel. (082) 305- 7395
Cellphone: 0915-569-9121
e-mail : servantsdvo@yahoo.com
website: http://www.blessedsacramentph.org/
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Religious of the Good Shepherds
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a. internal tensions from the past have not been healed, and continue to create a different culture
Sr. Gemma Dinglasan, RGSLuzon Vocation Directress
1043 Aurora Blvd., Quezon CityTel.: (632) 913-6407 Fax: (632) 913-6435
Banawa Hills, Cebu Cityor P.O. Box 2606000 Cebu CityFax: (032) 254-1631 (Convent) (032) 253-4194
200 Blas Chavez Velez St.Bulua, 9000 Cagayan de Oro CityTel. (08822) 726-270 Office (08822) 735-476
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Canossian Daughters of Charity
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Official Name: Canossian Daughters of Charity
Also Known As: Canossian Sisters of simply Canossians
Habit: White..see picture below
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Foundational Data: Founded by St. Magdalen of Canossa in 1808 in what is now Verona, Italy.
Charism:
"Our Charism, or spiritual energy, comes from our relationship with Jesus in a particular moment of His life. It is the love of God that we discover in the heart of Jesus on the cross, and of Mary at the foot of the cross. Through our lives and our works, we try to bring this same love and hope into a suffering world."
Claim to History: Counts St. Bakhita in its roster of members. Bakhita was an African girl who was kidnapped, and repeatedly sold as a slave. She survived several tortures until the Canossian sisters educated, baptized and accepted her as its first African member.
Dubious Distinction: nothing, since this community is very low key
____________
Five reasons why your might be attracted:
a. Simplicity of the sisters: true to their spirituality, majority of the Canossian sisters are just so humble and simple
b. Very wild field in ministry: they are actually in several areas: education, lay empowerment, health, pastoral work. So there is room for everyone to practice her professional field.
c. Professionalism: the sisters have developed a professional work ethics, disciplined and organized
d. Well-defined spirituality: St. Magdalen left a spiritual legacy, and a practice called the Mental Prayer of the Heart
e. Justice and Peace Desk: very dynamic and well-defined, the sisters have a heart for the poor
Reasons why you might be discouraged:
a. Weak formation program: through the years, the formation program in the initial level has not broken through from its Italian influences
b. Low-key: the sisters are very quiet and humble about their works, almost invisible. they don;t have sisters with high visibility, which is really part of their values, but might discourage the young generation
Best For: Women who want a humble and simple form of religious life, silent workers
Contact Number:
Vocations:
Contact Person: Sr. Sally Navera, FdCC
Contact No : (0927) 380-6739
website: http://canossaphil.org/
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Religious of the Assumption
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Common name: The RA sisters, or the Assumption Sisters
Monicker: Roaming Around
Foundation: Saint Marie Eugénie Milleret founded the Religious of the Assumption in Paris in 1839.
Vision-Mission: Living Together the Incarnation Spirituality as Assumption Together in the Mission of Transformative Education Today
Claim to History: Produced Presidents (Cory, GMA), Senators (Loren), Top level executives, world class artists and businesswoman (i think all of them)
Dubious Distinction: In one of their campuses was invented what is now known as kolehiyala language, as in! (see Kris Aquino)
Five Reasons Why You Might be Attracted
a. Brilliant, well thought of pedagogy, truly rooted in the gospel. No other pedagogy can match the Assumption pedagogy of transformative education, not even the Jesuits
b. Prayer life is just beautiful. Enough said.
c. Rich history, both in France and in the Philippines.
d. The mission reach is so diverse and varied (San Lorenzo Village, on one hand, and Kauswagan Lanao del Norte, on the other, for example)
e. They have a very strong partnership with the lay, almost incomparable.
Why you might be discouraged:
a. The older generation of sisters come from such rich backgrounds: hacienderas, with names that might be mistaken for Manila 400: Yulo, Borres, Ledesma etc etc. This can be intimidating to the younger generation, makes them feel like a social climber.
b. Most of the pastoral works are still school-based, which is of course being faithful to their mission.
c. The lay partners can be intimidating to the younger ones (though they are friendly) but u have names like Judy Araneta, Liro Mapa, Chinit Rufino etc etc
d. Formation program has not streamlined yet.
e. And then there is the matter with the French Language
Best for: Confident professional women
Contacts:
Provincial House
Religious of the Assumption, Philippines-Thailand
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
Tel/Fax Number: 63-2-5319614
Tel: 63-2-5331876
Mobile Phone Number: 0915-6480718
Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate Conception
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P.O. Box 570 AC P.O. Box 1139Cubao, Quezon City ManilaPhilippines Philippines
tel.: +00-63-2-7217155fax.: +00-63-2-7212159e-mail: mtbravo2001@yahoo.com
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Religious of the Virgin Mary (RVM)
Five reasons why it is attractive;
a. PATRIOTISM! The first Filipina congregation EVER!!!! RVM is the first all-Filipino religious congregation for women in the Philippines founded in 1684 by a Filipina, Mother Ignacia del Espiritu Santo.
b. STABILITY! It is also the largest Filipino congregation (both male and female), at present has membership of 747, as of the last count
c. HISTORICITY It is the oldest Congregation founded in the Philippines. Its historical value lies not only in its date of founding, but the many roles the sisters played throughout history, especially in the fight for freedom, and in educating millions of Filipinos.
d. EDUCATIVE MINISTRY! a combined total of 76 academic institutions and dormitories. That's enough to launch a spiritual revolution in the country and abroad. That is the potential for change. So, if you have the heart of a teacher or administrator, this one is it.
e. EXCELLENT FORMATORS: RVM can claim to have the most organized formation programs among all congregations in the country, and their formators are the most professionalized.
Five reasons why the congregation might discourage you:
a. Difficult to see poverty among such abundance. Though hardly their fault as the congregation has been blessed with wise financial management, the resulting lifestyle might discourage those who seek a simpler way of living.
b. Systems are so defined that there is little room for creativity. Brilliant educators are part of their leadership, people like Sr. Jackie de Belen, Sr. Evelyn Aguilar (present General), Sr. Assumpta David, Sr. Annie Co, Sr. Fe Gerodias and many more. They have put an impeccable system so flawless that leaves little room for a newcomer's dynamic experimentation.
c. Strict admission procedures. It will be like applying for a multinational corporation, so be ready with an impressive resume.
d. Intimidating figures. Bless their kind hearts, but some RVM sisters are so accomplished that they can be intimidating to young ones.
e. White habit, as in pure virginal white. Try wearing that and play with children in the park!
BEST FOR: Educators! Especially the excellent ones.
Contacts:
214 N. Domingo, 1111 Quezon City726-68-26; (Mother General)Telefax 723-33-44; e-mail: lalie888@yahoo.com (Vicar General)723-44-14; Far 721-80-30;
e-mail: rvmsecretariat@yahoo.com (Secretariat)721-80-23; Telefax 723-46-68; e-mail: rvm_economegeneral@yahoo.com (Econome)723-35-34 (Community)
visit their website
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Abuses in the convents (part 1)
O course, most of these happen unintentionally or even unconsciously. It is not a question of motives. It is a matter of vigilance.
The logic behind this is that victims of emotional abuses usually create the environment for them to be abuses, and provide the reasons or cause for receiving an abusive treatment.
Such as:
On one hand, most abuse victims have developed conformity/obedience as a coping mechanism, without listening to their own will and their own desires. Authority is foremost a fearsome figure. Thus they are the archetypal obedient formands, a behavior that is usually affirmed by formators through giving them more responsibilities. In the process, precipitating the abusive experience.
On the other end of the pole, some abuse victims have become arrogant or aggressive as defense mechanism. Thus, they irritate formators, stretch their patience to the point where formators shout, insult or berate them. Again, replaying the drama of the abuse.
How to be vigilant about this?
next week!
Monday, March 31, 2008
On Pluralist Communities Part 1
An authentic formative environment nurtures the fragile religious identity shaped from postulance through novitiate, as well as sustain the learnings and insights from the various formation programs. It will not depend on the modeling of one virtuous member, it will hinge on the quality of the relationship between and among members.
I strongly disagree wtih some formators who warn/caution and prepare their novices about the sad realities of local communities and teach their candidates skills to survive the difficulties. Postmodern generation of formands are wired to survive, they dont need survival skills, they need consistency.
Thus it is important to see to it that local communities share the paradigms of the formation committees and the formators themselves. I would cite the examples done by the Religious of the Virgin Mary (RVM), the Carmelite Missionaries (CM) and the SFIC (Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate Conception) among others who really invested time and energy by allowing their formators to explain to all communities and members the formation paradigms today.
(next week: tips in forming formative communities)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The Gift of Creating Sacred Spaces
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Sister Eppie Brasil, OP
The Gift of Creating Sacred Spaces
Gifts abound in the life of Sr. Eppie Brasil, founder of the Dominican Sisters of Regina Rosarii (OPRR) and the Regina Rosarii Contemplative Association (ROCA). Teacher, counselor, retreat-master, media evangelizer, friend, leader, artist, painter, composer and more.
But those gifts pale in comparison to the shining jewel in her treasure box of talents and skills: her desire and capacity to create sacred spaces. In fact, all her other gifts are mere reflections and manifestations of this singular virtue.
Sister Eppie makes the creation of sacred spaces her life calling.
In the urban and rural landscapes, she dreamed of and made possible the construction of monumental statues of Mary, Queen of the Most Holy Rosary perhaps to provide a pocket of peace and corner of contemplation in a busy world. Her latest project, a rotating statue of the Virgin Mother in the rooftop of their convent near Tomas Morator, is a gentle reminder of the presence of God in our busy lives.
As an artist, Sister Eppie organizes their convent inside and out as a place of prayer. Every nook, every corner, every available space speaks of the silence of God and the beauty of His creation.
Like a true postmodern apostle, Sister Eppie, with the Regina Rosarii sisters and their ROCA partners, maximizes all five senses to evangelize and promote the good news: that God is immanent, availablem and can be tasted right Here... right Now.
For our sense of sight, Sister Eppie has monumental statues and prayer sites to look up to and venerate. Also, she is founder of The SacredSpace magazine, a quarterly publication that makes reading a prayerful and contemplative experience. She has powercards, bookmarks, paintings and various forms of visual arts that softly and gently remind us of the powerful, healing presence of the Divine among us.
For our sense of hearing, she has composed several short sacred songs for easy listening, our portkey to the sacred space within us and our melodious guide to inner silence. Every Sunday, she and the sisters host a radio program Sacred Space on the Air over at Radio Veritas. Her teachings during sittings fill our ears with the words of God.
For our sense of smell, Sister Eppie has formulated and produced the Rosaline Healing Scents: candles and aromatic sprays which lighten our mood, refresh the air, and facilitate our entry into our interior spaces.
For our sense of taste, she collaborates with her blood sister, Sr. Matthew to come up with healing and delicious recipes that truly nourish the body and soul. Try their experimentations with various herbs and you will feel refreshed right after the first sip. But more than that, the sisters made it their mission to feed their K-friends (families living in karitons or carts), giving these poor families a taste of life and friendship.
Perhaps among these sensous ministries, Sr. Eppie is most generous with the sense of touch. Her healing handshake and her warm hug bring comfort and a sense of h0me to those who receive them - making people feel a sacredspace within her embrace.
I always said in my previous talks during assemblies and conferences that the call of a postmodern world is to minister through the five senses, making our ministry truly a sensuous presence, and Sister Eppie is at the forefront of this challenge.
I was given the distinctive gift to accompany Sister Eppie as she discerned and decided to pursue a life-changing direction that allowed her to be metamorphosed into a religious of the future. And I was also given the gift to be a recipient of her gifts as I went into my own crisis. A religious woman of lesser faith and charity would have hated me for what I have done, but with her, forgiveness was given even if I don't deserve it.
Trust me when I say this, that because of people like her and her gifts, I restored my faith in the church, and my trust in the institution of religious life.
The OP Regina has a website: http://www.reginarosarii.org/
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Postmodern generation and easter
A POSTMODERN EASTER
By John Soper
I have been preaching Easter sermons for three and a half decades, and most have been evangelistic in nature, or at least strongly slanted toward the C&E (Christmas and Easter) crowd. After all, if people come to church just once or twice a year, the message ought to make the issues crystal clear.
The tactic I used most often was apologetic in the theological sense of the word (that is, a reasoned defense of the faith). I gave the congregation all the facts supporting my belief that Jesus truly rose from the dead, marshaled all of the historic arguments a la Josh McDowell and compelled the listeners by the sheer force of reason to recognize the truth of the central claim of the Christian faith: that Jesus Christ was “crucified, dead and buried . . . and on the third day he rose from the dead . . .” My strategy was to use airtight logic (“Who Moved the Stone?”) and weighty arguments (“Ten Reasons to Believe in the Resurrection”—that was a long sermon!) to present the “evidence that demands a verdict.”
For most of those same decades, I have eschewed an approach that I perceived to be sentimental, subjective and entirely too “existential”—that of pressing the claims of the resurrected Christ on the basis of personal testimony. “You ask me how I know He lives? He lives within my heart” are lyrics from one of my least favorite Easter hymns. I didn’t like that approach because I thought every Mormon, Muslim or Hindu could claim it with equal authority.
But times have changed. In my role as a vice president at the National Office, I probably won’t get to preach an Easter sermon this year. That is just as well because my neighbors probably wouldn’t have gone to church to hear it anyway. And if they did, the historical arguments based on empirical facts and objective truth would not sound very convincing to them. You see, most people no longer believe in objective, one-size-fits-all truth claims. “If it’s true for you,” my neighbors would say, “that’s great! But that doesn’t make it true for me.”
In the postmodern world into which I have been dragged kicking and screaming (to borrow an expression from C. S. Lewis), people no longer wish to know if what you believe is “true.” What they really want to know is “Will it work?,” or more precisely, “Will it work for me?” and that becomes the starting place for evangelism. In the modern era, all we needed to do was to prove that something was logically true. And then, of course, it followed that it would “work.” In the postmodern world, we first have to show that it will “work.” And then, by the grace of God, we will have the opportunity to show that it works only because it is “true.”
But wait! Maybe this is not all that new. After all, the first generation of converts in the Book of Acts believed not because of a logical argument (e.g., Jesus fulfi lled more than 300 Old Testament prophecies), but because He “was declared with power to be the Son of God by his resurrection from the dead” (Rom. 1:4)—and they themselves had witnessed the events surrounding that Resurrection. Next, they experienced the presence and power of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Then, and only then, did Peter’s argument from fulfilled prophecy make sense to them (Acts 2:14–41).
That was Paul’s story as well. Only after personally experiencing the presence and power of the risen Christ on the road to Damascus did the rational explanations of the disciples have an impact on him. His personal prayer was: “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection . . .” (Phil. 3:10). A good friend reminded me that the life of A. B. Simpson, the founder of The Christian and Missionary Alliance, fi ts this paradigm as well.
I won’t be preaching the morning sermon at my church this Easter. But I am fervently praying Paul’s prayer. More than that, I am praying that His Resurrection power will be so evident in my life that my neighbors will be encouraged to ask, “Will that work for me, too?”
Monday, March 24, 2008
What is Easter?
3 Days Later
It was following the resurrection and disciples were still somewhat scattered about Jerusalem and the surrounding villages. John finds Peter and runs up to him. Excitedly he says, "Peter, Peter! I've got some good news and some bad news."
Peter takes a hold of John and calms him down.
"Take it easy, John. What is it? What's the good news?"
John says, "The good news is Christ is risen."
Peter says, "That's great! But, what's the bad news?"
John, looking around, says, "He's really angry about your denials last Friday."Sunday, March 23, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Understanding Emotionally Abused Persons
a. Can only guess at what healthy behavior is.
b. Have trouble completing things
c. Lie when they don't need to. Lying might have been a survival tactic in the home. (She explains that perhaps the child learned from parents who lied to cover up problems or avoid conflict. Or simply to avoid harsh punishment, or to get needed attention. But as an adult, that tactic is no longer appropriate.)
d. Judge themselves without mercy.
e. Have trouble accepting compliments.
f. Often take responsibility for problems, but not successes. Or they go to the other extreme and refuse to take any responsibility for mistakes while trying to take credit for the work of others.
g. Have trouble having fun since their childhoods were lost, stolen, repressed.
h. Take themselves very seriously or not seriously at all.
i. Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
j. Expect others to just "know what they want." (They can't express it because they were so often disappointed as children that they learned to stop asking for things.)
k. Over-react to things beyond their control.
l. Constantly seek approval & affirmation.
m. Feel different from others.
n. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved.
o. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
p. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. (This impulsiveness leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over their environment. The result is they spend much energy blaming others, feeling victimized and cleaning up messes.)
She also makes this observation:
Intelligent people, through their ability to analyze, often realize things which are disconcerting, which others would not see. They also are often capable of feeling more deeply, both pain and joy.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Lunes Lunacy
THEOLOGICAL DEBATE Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus.
Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate
on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence.............
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities
But then there were equally good arguments that.....
JESUS WAS BLACK
1. He called everybody "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial
But then there were equally good arguments that.......
JESUS WAS JEWISH
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother
was sure he was God
But then there were equally good arguments that.......
JESUS WAS ITALIAN
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil
But then there were equally good arguments that.......
JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He started a new religion
But then there were equally good arguments that.......
JESUS WAS IRISH
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures
But perhaps the most compelling evidence .........
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN .....
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when
there was no food
2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch
of men who JUST DIDN'T GET IT
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because
there was more work for him to do.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The Palm Sunday
“Go into the village opposite you, and immediately you will find an ass tethered, and a colt with her.Untie them and bring them here to me.And if anyone should say anything to you, reply, ‘The master has need of them.’Then he will send them at once.”
So the thought is this…. Who was that guy who gave his donkey to the Master? Nobody knows his name or anything about him, yet he played an integral part in moving the story of Jesus’ love along its path. I saw this and realized that that particular man made a difference in this world.He helped to change the world. I really want to be like the man who gave his donkey…. Nobody knows him but without his gift to the Master, the story of Jesus would not have been fulfilled.It’s hard, sometimes, to give freely and without acknowledgement. It’s even harder to say yes to what is needed of others, especially when it is God who is asking us to give.So really, at the end of this Lent, the beginning of this Holy Week, what is my‘donkey’? What is it that I still have that I’ve been holding back in my life that I will not surrender to Christ?Is there something that I still need to let go of to grow closer to Jesus? And if I can come to that realization of what my ‘donkeys’ are in my life, am I willing to give it to others freely, generously, and maybe even, anonymously?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
WedTips: Signs of Abusive, Authority Based Relationships
1. AF's are the masters of dependents.
2. AF's alone decide what is right and wrong.
3. They alone make up the definitions, the rules, and the "consequences" (i.e. punishment)
4. Dependents are held responsible for the AF's feelings (anger, disappointment, embarrassment, humiliation, happiness and unhappiness)
5. The AF is only responsible and accountable for good things that happen, never the bad ones. Thus the AF' appears to always be in the right and when things go wrong, the dependent is always blamed and feels responsible and guilty.
6. The AF tries to exercise total control of the dependent by controlling his thoughts, feelings and behavior. Whenever this control is not absolute, the AF feels threatened.
7. The dependent's individuality is minimized as much as possible by the AF.
8. The AF creates an intricate system of punishments and rewards which rob the dependent of any sense of inner direction and esteem.
9. The following freedoms listed by Virginia Satire are denied to the dependent as much as possible:
The freedom to perceive To think and interpret To feel To want, need, and chose
10. The AF never (or rarely) admits mistakes or apologizes.
11. All of the above take place in a way which does not expose the AF's true motives and none of this is openly talked about. No "back talk" is allowed
Some of the Consequences
Mistakes are concealed
People are under constant stress
Needs are frustrated, denied
Fear dominates
Power is based on fear, not respect
Information is withheld and distorted
Information flow is primarily from top down
Behavior is forced; does not come naturally
Behavior is not consistent with true feelings, which adds to the stress
Conflicts and problems are blamed on the dependent's "poor attitudes" and "character flaws."
All of this tears the dependent person apart, causing self-alienation and even self-loathing. The dependent person loses faith in his/her own mind and feelings with devastating self-esteem consequences. Depression, rage, mood swings, co-dependency, self-injury and self-destruction are typical outcomes. If the authority figure is a parent the person will likely develop symptoms of various "disorders" such as the so-called Borderline Personality disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Anoexia, Bulemia etc.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tuesdays with Rei
(The Tuesday edition is a simple exposition on the habits of the post-modern generation of formands. Again, fornators are to exercise caution and avoid using these researches as labels or judgments on the young people today. They are excellent aids in understanding behavioral or personality dynamics, thus they are tools of formation.)
The philosophy of postmodernism represents a deconstruction of Western thought. Rather than relying on a moral authority such as Gods Word or man's reasonto determine truth, postmodern generation tends to recognize truth through experience and community.
The basic difficulty here of course is that truth becomes subjective; it depends on their experiences.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Lunes Lunacy: smoking in the convent
Two Jesuit novices both wanted a cigarette while they prayed. They decided to ask their superior for permission. The first asked but was told no. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking. "Why did the superior allow you to smoke and not me?" he asked. His friend replied, "Because you asked if you could smoke while you meditated, and I asked if I could meditate while I smoked!".
b) the wise novice
A man has three sons who entered three different religious orders: the oldest became a Dominican, the second a Franciscan, and the youngest a Jesuit. On his deathbed, the father tells his sons, "I know you all have vows of poverty, but as a sign of your love for me, I want each of you to place one thousand dollars into my casket to be buried with me."
On the day of the funeral, the Dominican son steps up, places $1000 in the casket, and says, "This seems like a waste of money, since you can't take it with you, Dad. But with the special permission of my superiors, I'm doing as you requested, as a sign of my love."
Next, the Franciscan son approaches the casket and says, "You know I love you, Dad, but the needs of the poor are so great, I just can't let $1000 be buried with you. I hope you understand, now that you are in heaven. Please forgive me."
Finally, the Jesuit son comes forward and says to his brother, "Don't worry, Frank. I'll pay your share." Then he reaches into the casket, takes the cash left by his eldest brother, and puts in a check for $3000.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Lenten Reflection: from ewtn
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WHAT TO GIVE UP . . .
(I got this from EWTN. I thought this might make a good prayer or poem for the formands lenten reflection. It is easier to give up meat or a fullmeal. But how about such emotional habits like worrying? or bitterness?)
Give up complaining. . . . . . . .focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism. . . . . . . . . become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments . . .think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry. . . . . . . . . . . . . trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement. . . . .be full of hope.
Give up bitterness. . . . . . . . . . turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred. . . . . . . . . . . . . return good for evil.
Give up negativism . . . . . . . . .be positive.
Give up anger. . . . . . . . . . . . . .be more patient.
Give up pettiness. . . . . . . . . . .become mature.
Give up gloom. . . . . . . . . . . . . .enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy. . . . . . . . . . . .pray for trust.
Give up gossiping. . . . . . . . . . .control your tongue.
Give up sin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . turn to virtue.
Give up giving up. . . . . . . . . . . hang in there!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
WedTips: Emotional Abuse No 5: DENYING
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When Becca was 12 she went to her father and said "I feel like crying...." She wanted and needed to be comforted. She needed reassurance and wanted to know she would be accepted by her father, even when she not happy and smiling. Her father said uncaringly, "Well go cry then."
When she needed comfort, acceptance and reassurance, she got rejection. Her emotional needs were denied.
- Denying a person's emotional needs, especially when they feel that need the most, and done with the intent of hurting, punishing or humiliating
- The other person may deny that certain events occurred or that certain things were said. confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, "I never said that," "I don't know what you're talking about," etc. You know differently.
- The other person may deny your perceptions, memory and very sanity.
- Withholding is another form of denying. Withholding includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the "silent treatment."
- When the abuser disallows and overrules any viewpoints, perceptions or feelings which differ from their own.
- Denying can be particularly damaging. In addition to lowering self-esteem and creating conflict, the invalidation of reality, feelings, and experiences can eventually lead you to question and mistrust your own perceptions and emotional experience.
- Denying and other forms of emotional abuse can cause you to lose confidence in your most valuable survival tool: your own mind.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Tuesdays with Rei: Post-mod Gen Habits 5
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Tuesdays with Rei: Post-mod Gen Habits
a fascination for consistency
Kevin Ford, in Jesus for a New Generation, speaks about process evangelism, where postmodern youth (and also adults who are postmodern thinkers) are convinced of the reality of God’s love not by propositional arguments or one-time evangelistic rallies, not by retreats or recollections, nor by symposia or conferences, but by a daily consistent, practical demonstration that Christianity works and that God’s love is real.
Thus, they need to experience God's love through a loving, understanding, formative community.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Lunes for Lunacy: a formator heard it all wrong
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Leaving The Convent
A young and beautiful novice went to see her novice mistress.
"Sister, even without a real discernment, I have decided to leave the novitiate."
"But why, my child?"
"To become a prostitute."
"What? What are you saying?"
"I said I want to become a prostitute, sister."
"Oh, you had me worried. I thought you said protestant!"
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Sunday for Sharing: Gospel for Formands
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Sunday for Sharing:
Gospel for Formands
[4th Sunday of Lent] Jn 9:1-41
As he walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God's works might be revealed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva and spread the mud on the man's eyes, saying to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent).
The Gift of True Sight
Have you ever played a game with a blindfold? Or, have you ever been on a trust walk, where you are blindfolded and led by another person?
Playing games with a blindfold helps us appreciate the gift of sight. Sight is a double blessing in a culture whose media manipulates visual contents, its patterns, and its timing. A quickly edited, fast moving commercial on television proves the point; your eyes quickly "read" the message.
Through the cure of a person born blind, John's gospel presents sight in a metaphorical sense. Sometimes a person can look, but not see. Here, the blind man received not only the ability to use his eyes but the gift to see the truth.
http://www.word-sunday.com
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Sabado Nights: Tips for Rituals
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Sabado Nights: Tips for Rituals
(Since Saturdays in formation houses are usually set aside for community recollections, I hope the Saturday edition of this blog, which focuses on formative rituals, provides some help for the formators in seeking creative formative interventions. Rituals, though a post-modern approach, allow the formands to experience a particular movement or transition, thus a very effective tool to end a processing or a spiritual experience.)
This ritual can be adapted by substituting your own prayers and by using other Scripture readings. It can be used at the end of a recollection especially during lent. Community members are encouraged to take on the various roles of leader, reader, etc.
Leader:
God became a human being in Jesus Christ. Jesus came, died and rose from the dead to reconcile us with God so that, reconciled with others, we might be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven.
(Pause while someone lights a candle.)
And so we pray in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
May this burning candle remind us that, by the light of Christ, God forgives our sins and our failings. God loves us with the faithfulness of a mother, the tender mercy of a father. We are called to forgive those who hurt us, even when they did not intend it. We come together to pray for the grace we need to ask for forgiveness or to grant forgiveness.
(Allow a moment of silence for members to reflect on their need to be forgiven or to forgive, or to pray for members in need of reconciliation.)
Oh God, you have bound us together in a common life. Help us to lovingly confront one another without hatred or bitterness, and to live together with mutual love and respect. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Reader #1
Suggested reading: The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-9)
Leader:
What of us needs to ask forgiveness?
(Every one takes turn to state clearly why he or she seek forgiveness. After everyone is finished asking for and granting forgiveness, move on to the intercessions. Also, if the one who is to grant forgiveness is not ready to do so, remind the person of the responsibility to let the petitioner know when he or she wishes to do so.)
Intercessions
Reader #2
Let us respond, "Teach us to be merciful, Lord."
- Almighty God, show us your kindness, we pray...
- Jesus, you ate with sinners and comforted the brokenhearted, we pray...
- Holy Spirit, you console our troubled spirits, we pray...
- For what else shall we pray?
Let us pray together that God will give us what we need in order to live like Jesus.
Our Father...
Leader (or Reader #3)
God our loving Creator, the earth, the moon and the stars show the splendor of your glory. You created us to show the splendor of your love. In our baptism, you granted us the splendor of your forgiveness. May we continue to grow in the image and likeness of your son, Jesus, our brother, for ever and ever. Amen.
As a sign of our ongoing commitment to one another, let us exchange some sign of peace.
(source: United States Conference of Catholic Bishops)
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators
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Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators
(Even during those years when I was the CEO of Emmaus Center, I always considered it a priority to take care of the person of the formators. Through this Friday series, I hope to continue caring for them through simple tips in self-care.)
First and foremost as a caregiver to your formands: care for yourself.
On an airplane, an oxygen mask descends in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit, too.
Simple Steps to Managing Stress
- Recognize warning signs early. These might include irritability, sleep problems, and forgetfulness. Know your own warning signs, and act to make changes. Don't wait until you are overwhelmed. If there is a novice whose face already irritates you, that is warning sign. If there is a voice you don't want to hear, that is an alarm signal.
- Identify sources of stress. Ask yourself, "What is causing stress for me?" Sources of stress might be too much to do, community disagreements, feelings of inadequacy, inability to say no.
- Identify what you can and cannot change. Remember, we can only change ourselves; we cannot change another person. When you try to change things over which you have no control, you will only increase your sense of frustration. Ask yourself, "What do I have some control over? What can I change?" Even a small change can make a big difference. The challenge we face as formators is well expressed in words from the Serenity Prayer:
…Grant me the serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference. - Take action. Taking some action to reduce stress gives us back a sense of control. Stress reducers can be simple activities like walking and other forms of exercise, gardening, meditation, having coffee with a friend. Identify some stress reducers that work for you.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Lenten Seasonings:
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a prayer for today:
Merciful Father/ Loving Mother,
I know that the tiny sacrifices I make this Lent
can never serve as a real penance in my life.
But help me to make my whole life
one of following your Son.
I am filled with your love.
Let your love shine out from within me
and guide my life in this sacred journey
toward the Easter joy you offer me.
LENT: HEARING THE CRY OF THE POOR
Lent As: Hearing the Cry of the Poor
Each year, the Season of Lent is offered to us as a time of renewal. Usually, we take up this Lenten journey as the gift of personal renewal in terms of our relationship with the Lord. Our renewal becomes concrete when it comes down to self-denial which allows us to live our faith more authentically. The alms giving we do helps us express our gratitude and allows us to exercise generosity. However, Lent can also be a time to focus beyond ourselves. It can be a time of renewal that is offered us to hear the cry of the poor and grow in solidarity with them. Ultimately, this is spiritual renewal as well and helps us grow closer to our Lord who tells us that if we wish to love him, we must express that love as love for the least of our brothers and sisters.
How can I make this Lent a time to hear the cry of the poor?
It all starts with desire and a few choices. If we recognize a desire to be more attentive to the poor and to grow in affection for and solidarity with them, then it is likely that this is a grace we have received. Many things may have happened to open us to this grace, but it is important to name it and welcome it. Perhaps God has been offering us this grace for some time and preparing us to receive it this Lent. If we don't feel this desire, we can ask for it. We can ask our Lord to help us grow in a desire to hear better the cry of those most in need.
Who are the poor? Who are most in need? Who are most pushed to the margins of neglect and powerlessness? It doesn't take a great social analysis to come up with some immediate answers in my own world and in the global situation today. Listening to the news - locally, nationally, globally - is a beginning. Who appears to be suffering? Who seems to be tremendously burdened? Not all the poor are in the news, but a sensitive scan of the news is a place to start.
http://www.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/hearing-cry-of-the-poor.htmlWednesday, February 27, 2008
Wedtips: Emotional Abuse No 4
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WedTips
(Every Wednesday, I offer tips on understanding and dealing with formands who are victims/survivors of emotional abuses. I focus on emotional abuse since all the other forms of abuses like physical and sexual have been discussed thoroughly in various formation workshops, but also, the other forms of abuses have strong, pervasive emotional component)
- The other person may deliberately start arguments and be in constant conflict with others.
- The person may be "addicted to drama" since it creates excitement.
Patricia may not be aware of it but her mother is addicted to dramatic situations. She turned simple situations into scripted dialogues that included shouting matches and crying incidents. Patricia felt her own feelings were not honored since she felt forced to be part of her mother's dramatic moments. She is an abuse victim.
Source: www.eqi.org
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tuesdays with Rei: Post-mod Gen Habits 4
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Tuesdays with Rei: Post-modGen Habits
(The Tuesday edition is a simple exposition on the habits of the post-modern generation of formands. Again, fornators are to exercise caution and avoid using these researches as labels or judgments on the young people today. They are excellent aids in understanding behavioral or personality dynamics, thus they are tools of formation.)
a short attention span
When asked to guess the average adult attention span, most people say around thirty minutes. According to statistics, however, the average adult attention span is actually only seven seconds.
That's right! Every seven seconds you go away somewhere. You think about something else. In fact, you could actually be taking a mental break right now! It is a normal part of how the brain integrates external stimuli like when your computer starts defragging for a moment while you type. It helps to pause from time to time when you speak. This allows people to integrate your information or ask a clarifying question. Also, include examples to anchor your concepts.
Our task is simply to become aware of what occupies their mind during those "fillers" and make them materials for formation and growth.
That is called post-modern counseling. We don't ask information, we listen to the stories that always play in their minds. Then allow the story to unfold. In the end, all these fillers are lines, pages and chapters of the ongoing narrative between this person and God.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Lunes for Lunacy: a formator heard it all wrong
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Contrary to the corporate world where Monday is Manic since it is the start of the workweek, Monday for the religious is a light day. The previous day, Sunday, is always given to such things as recollection, family visits, encounters, search-ins and other community concerns. The Monday edition then are anecdotes and humors that happen in formation houses. Hopefully, it lightens your day, or not! :)
A young gen-x postulant asked his formator's permission to use the car for their PSI workshop in Emmaus Center.
The postulant director replied "No, not until you cut your hair!".
The postulant replied "But father...Jesus had long hair!"
To which his formator said, "Yes, but Jesus walked everywhere."
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Sunday for Sharing:
The Samaritan woman went out to get some water. She was not looking for Christ. He was there and saw something in her that he sees in us. The deepest need of everyone is something that will last. Written into our very nature is the need of everlasting life. Many do not know what they are looking for. Spirituality and piety meet as the practices that speak to the need of Christ in all of us. The right questions need to be asked if our spirituality and our piety are going to grow into a deep and abiding relationship to Christ. He would be our companion in our journey and so much more if we know what we are looking for and look for what he would give us.
The Samaritan woman went from being asked a question to asking her own question. Study is a looking at what our hearts are crying out for. We need to rediscover Christ’s life within us. Water has been changed forever in Christ’s walking into the
Action
It is a philosophical principle that action flows out of who we are. “Agere sequitur esse,” is a truism of life. Whatever we do in life brings fulfillment when it is true to who we are. An apostolic plan grows out of our prayer. Spiritual reading offers us challenges of life that are met in how we are sharing Christ with each other. Our gospel of the Samaritan woman is a challenge to reach out to someone today with the call of eternal life. We have as many group reunions in our daily life as we are trying to share Christ with the person we are with. We fulfill our apostolic plan when it means that Christ is part of each encounter of the day. A good life speaks Christ. A Christ life is seen in the willingness of say, “Christ” out loud. The Eternal Word spoken by the Father in the Word Made flesh needs to be echoed by our words to each other.
source: Your daily tripod