Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators

Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators
(Even during those years when I was the CEO of Emmaus Center, I always considered it a priority to take care of the person of the formators. Through this Friday series, I hope to continue caring for them through simple tips in self-care.)

First and foremost as a caregiver to your formands: care for yourself.

On an airplane, an oxygen mask descends in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit, too.

Simple Steps to Managing Stress

1. Recognize warning signs early. These might include irritability, sleep problems, and forgetfulness. Know your own warning signs, and act to make changes. Don't wait until you are overwhelmed. If there is a novice whose face already irritates you, that is warning sign. If there is a voice you don't want to hear, that is an alarm signal.
   
2. Identify sources of stress. Ask yourself, "What is causing stress for me?" Sources of stress might be too much to do, community disagreements, feelings of inadequacy, inability to say no.
3. Identify what you can and cannot change. Remember, we can only change ourselves; we cannot change another person. When you try to change things over which you have no control, you will only increase your sense of frustration. Ask yourself, "What do I have some control over? What can I change?" Even a small change can make a big difference. The challenge we face as formators is well expressed in words from the Serenity Prayer:
   …Grant me the serenity to
   Accept the things I cannot change,
   Courage to change the things I can,
   And the wisdom to know the difference.
4. Take action. Taking some action to reduce stress gives us back a sense of control. Stress reducers can be simple activities like walking and other forms of exercise, gardening, meditation, having coffee with a friend. Identify some stress reducers that work for you.

Lenten Seasonings:

a prayer for today:

Merciful Father/ Loving Mother,
I know that the tiny sacrifices I make this Lent
can never serve as a real penance in my life.
But help me to make my whole life
one of following your Son.
I am filled with your love.
Let your love shine out from within me
and guide my life in this sacred journey
toward the Easter joy you offer me.

LENT: HEARING THE CRY OF THE POOR

Lent As: Hearing the Cry of the Poor

Each year, the Season of Lent is offered to us as a time of renewal. Usually, we take up this Lenten journey as the gift of personal renewal in terms of our relationship with the Lord. Our renewal becomes concrete when it comes down to self-denial which allows us to live our faith more authentically. The alms giving we do helps us express our gratitude and allows us to exercise generosity. However, Lent can also be a time to focus beyond ourselves. It can be a time of renewal that is offered us to hear the cry of the poor and grow in solidarity with them. Ultimately, this is spiritual renewal as well and helps us grow closer to our Lord who tells us that if we wish to love him, we must express that love as love for the least of our brothers and sisters.

How can I make this Lent a time to hear the cry of the poor?

It all starts with desire and a few choices. If we recognize a desire to be more attentive to the poor and to grow in affection for and solidarity with them, then it is likely that this is a grace we have received. Many things may have happened to open us to this grace, but it is important to name it and welcome it. Perhaps God has been offering us this grace for some time and preparing us to receive it this Lent. If we don't feel this desire, we can ask for it. We can ask our Lord to help us grow in a desire to hear better the cry of those most in need.

Who are the poor? Who are most in need? Who are most pushed to the margins of neglect and powerlessness? It doesn't take a great social analysis to come up with some immediate answers in my own world and in the global situation today. Listening to the news - locally, nationally, globally - is a beginning. Who appears to be suffering? Who seems to be tremendously burdened? Not all the poor are in the news, but a sensitive scan of the news is a place to start.

http://www.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/hearing-cry-of-the-poor.html

Wedtips: Emotional Abuse No 4

WedTips

(Every Wednesday, I offer tips on understanding and dealing with formands who are victims/survivors of emotional abuses. I focus on emotional abuse since all the other forms of abuses like physical and sexual have been discussed thoroughly in various formation workshops, but also, the other forms of abuses have strong, pervasive emotional component)

Emotional Abuse 4:

Constant Chaos

• The other person may deliberately start arguments and be in constant conflict with others.

• The person may be "addicted to drama" since it creates excitement.

Patricia may not be aware of it but her mother is addicted to dramatic situations. She turned simple situations into scripted dialogues that included shouting matches and crying incidents. Patricia felt her own feelings were not honored since she felt forced to be part of her mother's dramatic moments. She is an abuse victim.



Source: www.eqi.org

Tuesdays with Rei: Post-mod Gen Habits 4

Tuesdays with Rei: Post-modGen Habits

(The Tuesday edition is a simple exposition on the habits of the post-modern generation of formands. Again, fornators are to exercise caution and avoid using these researches as labels or judgments on the young people today. They are excellent aids in understanding behavioral or personality dynamics, thus they are tools of formation.)




a short attention span

When asked to guess the average adult attention span, most people say around thirty minutes. According to statistics, however, the average adult attention span is actually only seven seconds.

That's right! Every seven seconds you go away somewhere. You think about something else. In fact, you could actually be taking a mental break right now! It is a normal part of how the brain integrates external stimuli like when your computer starts defragging for a moment while you type. It helps to pause from time to time when you speak. This allows people to integrate your information or ask a clarifying question. Also, include examples to anchor your concepts.

But the post-modern generation of formands have the capacity to dwell in the "fillers" rather than focus on the given moment. They can actually "divide" their minds: one apparently listening to the moment, while the other, to the scenery of their imaginations.

Our task is simply to become aware of what occupies their mind during those "fillers" and make them materials for formation and growth.

That is called post-modern counseling. We don't ask information, we listen to the stories that always play in their minds. Then allow the story to unfold. In the end, all these fillers are lines, pages and chapters of the ongoing narrative between this person and God.

Lunes for Lunacy: a formator heard it all wrong

Contrary to the corporate world where Monday is Manic since it is the start of the workweek, Monday for the religious is a light day. The previous day, Sunday, is always given to such things as recollection, family visits, encounters, search-ins and other community concerns. The Monday edition then are anecdotes and humors that happen in formation houses. Hopefully, it lightens your day, or not! :)




A young gen-x postulant asked his formator's permission to use the car for their PSI workshop in Emmaus Center.

The postulant director replied "No, not until you cut your hair!".

The postulant replied "But father...Jesus had long hair!"

To which his formator said, "Yes, but Jesus walked everywhere."

Sunday for Sharing:

Third Sunday of Lent

The Samaritan woman went out to get some water. She was not looking for Christ. He was there and saw something in her that he sees in us. The deepest need of everyone is something that will last. Written into our very nature is the need of everlasting life. Many do not know what they are looking for. Spirituality and piety meet as the practices that speak to the need of Christ in all of us. The right questions need to be asked if our spirituality and our piety are going to grow into a deep and abiding relationship to Christ. He would be our companion in our journey and so much more if we know what we are looking for and look for what he would give us.

The Samaritan woman went from being asked a question to asking her own question. Study is a looking at what our hearts are crying out for. We need to rediscover Christ’s life within us. Water has been changed forever in Christ’s walking into the Jordan to be baptized by John. He who was sinless gave to the waters of the Jordan a new meaning. The heart that was pierced on the Cross, gave his presence to the water that gushed forth to become the Sacrament of Baptism. We are born again into the life of Christ. We become children of God by Christ being our brother. Christ becomes our real life. We do not lose anything by following Christ. Rather we become true to ourselves by allowing our spiritual lives to be an extension of the Spiritual life of Christ. When Christ is transparent in whom we are and in what we do, we have discovered our true selves. We are who we are meant to be.

Action

It is a philosophical principle that action flows out of who we are. “Agere sequitur esse,” is a truism of life. Whatever we do in life brings fulfillment when it is true to who we are. An apostolic plan grows out of our prayer. Spiritual reading offers us challenges of life that are met in how we are sharing Christ with each other. Our gospel of the Samaritan woman is a challenge to reach out to someone today with the call of eternal life. We have as many group reunions in our daily life as we are trying to share Christ with the person we are with. We fulfill our apostolic plan when it means that Christ is part of each encounter of the day. A good life speaks Christ. A Christ life is seen in the willingness of say, “Christ” out loud. The Eternal Word spoken by the Father in the Word Made flesh needs to be echoed by our words to each other.

source: Your daily tripod

Sabado Nights: Tips for Rituals

Sabado Nights: Tips for Rituals
(Since Saturdays in formation houses are usually set aside for community recollections, I hope the Saturday edition of this blog, which focuses on formative rituals, provides some help for the formators in seeking creative formative interventions. Rituals, though a post-modern approach, allow the formands to experience a particular movement or transition, thus a very effective tool to end a processing or a spiritual experience.)

Jewish Prayer for Peace

The following is a Prayer for Peace that is traditionally included in the Shabbat (Saturday) service. It is chanted together and a lovely prayer, drawn as most prayers in Judaism, from Biblical sources. May these words come true especially in today's time when our society and church are divided over the issue of truth!)

May we see the day when war and bloodshed cease when a great peace will embrace the whole world Then nation shall not threaten nation and humankind will not again know war. For all who live on earth shall realize we have not come into being to hate or destroy We have come into being to praise, to labour and to love. Compassionate God, bless all the leaders of all nations with the power of compassion. Fulfill the promise conveyed in Scripture: "I will bring peace to the land, and you shall lie down and no one shall terrify you. I will rid the land of vicious beasts and it shall not be ravaged by war." Let love and justice flow like a mighty stream. Let peace fill the earth as the waters fill the sea. And let us say: Amen (Professor David Blades, University of Alberta)

(Note: today is the birthday of my father Edilberto. Please include his soul in your prayers. Thanks)

Lenten Reflection

(from explorefaith.org)

Someone once said that to recognize the signs of God, pay attention to your stirrings. Look closely when you feel the swell of joy within, or the tightness as your throat closes up in sorrow. Live in that moment, poke around in its corners, and feel the texture of its walls. Sit with it for awhile, long enough to sense the presence of God sitting with you.


For many of us, this attention falls in the realm of discipline. We are so consumed with the goings-on around us that slowing down and looking inward requires a determined act of will. For Christians, Lent is a time to do exactly that.

Beginning 40 days before Easter, Lent has traditionally been a time of looking inward, a time of self-evaluation and self-examination in order to identify one’s sins and go through a process of repentance and renewal. Many Christians have fasted during portions of Lent, others have found ways to mark the days by “giving up” something that is particularly delightful to them, even if not sinful. For some it’s giving up sweets or red meat, for others cigarettes or alcohol, habits which oftentimes are picked up again when Easter rolls around.


In recent years, there has been less emphasis on giving up and more emphasis on taking on. Some will choose to go to church more often, or serve the poor, or be more disciplined in meditation.


Using this Lenten calendar is another way to observe this season with intention and presence. Each week of Lent is devoted to reflections on Lenten themes: stillness, examination, attention, prayer, suffering, hope, and new life. As you use these quotes to work through the days and weeks of the Lenten season also keep in mind three things that may help you develop interior peace:

First, live attentively. The Buddhists call this mindfulness. All it means is to be aware of life. Hear the silence of the snow. Feel the cracks in the earth. Look into one another’s eyes. Pay attention to every single moment and that moment alone. Feel it. Take it into your bones. Let it transform you.

Second, learn to let go. Start to simplify your life. Simplify your possessions, your thoughts, your desires, your expectations. When you can let go, your arms are open and ready to receive all the good things God longs to give you.

Third, develop intimacy with God. Gather in yourself a phrase or thought from the calendar. Let the thought or phrase filter through your heart and mind throughout the day. Say it when you stand in the grocery line, when you eat your lunch, when you scrape ice off your car. Let it settle deeply in your heart so that it can work from within to bring you into closer intimacy with God.
Lent need not be a time to live in guilt and shame. Instead it may be a time when we find ourselves in the place where we pay attention to our stirrings—in that place of deep stillness where the hunger of our souls and the heart of God meet.

So shall we have peace divine: holier gladness ours shall be;Round us, too, shall angels shine,Such as ministered to thee. —Hymn #150The Hymnal 1982

Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for Formators

Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators

(Even during those years when I was the CEO of Emmaus Center, I always considered it a priority to take care of the person of the formators. Through this Friday series, I hope to continue caring for them through simple tips in self-care.)

Stress management is largely a learnable skill. Most people can learn how to take the heat in their lives, especially in our work as formators.

The way I think of it, stress is a "false alarm".

What I mean is that it is the erroneous activation of the "danger alarm" system of the brain. I visualize it as a big red fire alarm inside the head. This is a system we are all born with and it is a good thing to have. However, the biological purpose of this system is to help prepare us for dealing with real, physical danger. When the danger alarm is turned on, it produces a physiological response called the "fight or flight" reaction, which helps us to fight the danger or flee it.

So what is important is not so much the alarm per se, but how do you respond to it.

Lenten Reflection

Come Holy Spirit
Bonnie Malone


The film Chocolat tells the story of a gypsy woman and her daughter as they relocate to a very traditional and religious village in the French countryside. A hard, cold wind brings the pair to town (donned in bright red, hooded capes). They arrive in the middle of Lent and open a chocolaterie—shocking for certain, but not as shocking as their refusal to go to church. Unexpectedly, their presence begins to transform the relationships and ideas of the village.in a very God-like way.

Whenever I see this film I think of the Holy Spirit, personified in the love of a mother and a daughter (who wear red, come with the wind and defy expectations). Amazing, isn't it, how relationships can be so transforming? We all have stories of people who show up in our lives, in a haphazard way, even irritating at first, only to stretch us and change us completely.

The early church spent much time arguing about categories (the who, and how, and when and so on) with respect to God. One argument centered upon the question of whether the Holy Spirit proceeded from the Father only, or from the Father and the Son. The Nicene Creed demonstrated that, for at least one group, it was important to understand that the Holy Spirit was poured out from both the Father and the Son. The idea was that the love between the Father and the Son was so great that a third Spirit naturally overflowed from that love. The Holy Spirit actually emanated from the Divine love between the Creator and Redeemer of the world.
I am not much for theological categories, and the concept of the Trinity will always confuse me, but I think the idea that the Spirit flows from the Father and Son is an important one. Our God models for us a love so strong that it creates something new, unwieldy and beautifully creative—the Holy Spirit. If we believe that we are created in the image of God, and that imitating God is a worthwhile endeavor, then we could expect that something new, holy, and Spiritlike would come from each of our loving relationships.

Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators

Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators

(Even during those years when I was the CEO of Emmaus Center, I always considered it a priority to take care of the person of the formators. Through this Friday series, I hope to continue caring for them through simple tips in self-care.)

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms

Cognitive Symptoms

Memory problems
Indecisiveness
Inability to concentrate
Trouble thinking clearly
Poor judgment
Seeing only the negative
Anxious or racing thoughts
Constant worrying
Loss of objectivity
Fearful anticipation

Emotional Symptoms

Moodiness
Agitation
Restlessness
Short temper
Irritability, impatience
Inability to relax
Feeling tense and “on edge”
Feeling overwhelmed
Sense of loneliness and isolation
Depression or general unhappiness

Physical Symptoms

Headaches or backaches
Muscle tension and stiffness
Diarrhea or constipation
Nausea, dizziness
Insomnia
Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
Weight gain or loss
Skin breakouts (hives, eczema)
Loss of sex drive
Frequent colds

Behavioral Symptoms

Eating more or less
Sleeping too much or too little
Isolating yourself from others
Procrastination, neglecting responsibilities
Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax
Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)
Teeth grinding or jaw clenching
Overdoing activities (e.g. exercising, shopping)
Overreacting to unexpected problems
Picking fights with others

Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for formators

Thank God Its Friday: Self-care for Formators

(Even during those years when I was the CEO of Emmaus Center, I always considered it a priority to take care of the person of the formators. Through this Friday series, I hope to continue caring for them through simple tips in self-care.)

The best way to manage stress is to learn to change anxiety to concern.

Concern means you are motivated to take care of real problems in your life, but your danger alarm system is not erroneously activated. Changing your feelings is largely a matter of learning to identify and change the upsetting thoughts that are the immediate and proximate cause of upset emotions.

Lenten Reflection

Prayer for Lenten Days

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties;

And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23, 24

Loving Lord! Thank You for bringing me into these days of introspection.

I take this time to analyse my ways and meditate upon the ultimate sacrifices You have made for me, a grant sinner.

Lord! There were times when I had been so mean to others and when I had lost my patience and integrity.

There were times when I had lost faith in You when I had been unfaithful to You without even acknowledging Your sacrificial love for me.

Please forgive me for all the sins I have committed against You as well as my fellow-men.
Let me regain the spiritual values I have lost and restore in me the original first love for You. I rededicate myself at Your feet, Lord!

Search me and fill me with Your divine presence so that my life can reflect the Gospel.

Let this Lenten season be a time of restoration and the means for renewed direction and perspective. Please guide me and make me a channel of blessing to others.

Thank You for helping me to reflect Your love and sacrifice.

In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen

from: http://www.2heartsnetwork.org/lent.htm