This might be a harsh, drastic statement but I have observed that formands who have been victims of emotional abuses as a child, bring out the abuser in the formator.
O course, most of these happen unintentionally or even unconsciously. It is not a question of motives. It is a matter of vigilance.
The logic behind this is that victims of emotional abuses usually create the environment for them to be abuses, and provide the reasons or cause for receiving an abusive treatment.
Such as:
On one hand, most abuse victims have developed conformity/obedience as a coping mechanism, without listening to their own will and their own desires. Authority is foremost a fearsome figure. Thus they are the archetypal obedient formands, a behavior that is usually affirmed by formators through giving them more responsibilities. In the process, precipitating the abusive experience.
On the other end of the pole, some abuse victims have become arrogant or aggressive as defense mechanism. Thus, they irritate formators, stretch their patience to the point where formators shout, insult or berate them. Again, replaying the drama of the abuse.
How to be vigilant about this?
next week!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
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